Troy:"What, me exercise.....??But I look cute withmy milk-belly, what! Tak payah lah.......zzzzzzzz"
April 26 (Day 16 post-first chemo)
Syukur Alhamdullillah that I was able to see the funny side of things. When my friends came to visit they noticed I was wearing a bandana. We took snapshots at every angle while I still have hair. The first time I took off the scarf, my hair was flat and plastered all over my scalp. It reminded me of a certain minister who wears a toupee! I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. I hope I will be still as ticklish when I shampoo my hair using the mild SebaMed baby shampoo that I bought specially for this treatment period. I am expecting that bunches, probably an acre at a time, will come off. Hopefully no pain as my scalp is beginning to feel slightly tender,as though I had a knock the day before kind of feeling. Not painful but a noticeable feeling.
After writing about eating healthily, dinner last night was Kepala Ikan masak asam pedas, san the chillies. SNA and her son came by for a visit and joined me for dinner. Kakak also stir-fried some Kacang botol which was tres, tres delicious. I am making it a point to have at least 2 types of sayur and we actually had 3 last night, including stir-fried tauge and kerabu pomelo. Dessert was fruit, but after the good dinner we can only managed a banana each.
I am supposed to next reflect on other Lifestyle factors - Physical Fitness, Stress level, Emotional wellbeing, Mental Wellbeing, Spiritual Wellbeing and Social Wellbeing.
I think most of these other factors are somewhat inter-related. Personally I feel that Emotional/Mental/Spiritual/Social wellbeing are tied in to a person's behavioural and personality traits. They move in tandem. So again, I will study these separately and note those observations under Internal Factors ie together with Genes and Infections.
Physical Fitness:(and Hobbies?)
Evaluating my height, weight and frame, I would be of average health. 153 cm, small to medium frame, I am pear-shaped (hereditary lah), and stand at 57 kg before and after the recent surgery. So my chemo is being calculated and administered based on that body weight ( which was my weight during adolescent). I registered 50-53 kg during most of my working life and started piling on the weight after I stopped working. In other words, when I stopped working out at the gym/swimming/squash/aerobics/jazzercise/ daily brisk walking in 2005, I had gained at least 5 kg. That't the weight of an overdue baby. A big, fat baby.
I have always been active and cannot sit still for long. If I do, I would be multi-tasking. I would have the radio or TV on if I am cooking. Or ironing, Or reading. When I read I munch. When I shower, I think and will see what needs to be cleaned and sorted out in the bathroom. I do daily briskwalking every morning without fail for at least 4-5 km before I start work at the office ( I showered in the Recreation Floor of the office). I liked that arrangement because it was nice to start the day right and know that you have done something good for your body as putting it off to the later part of the day may mean that something may come up to change your plan. The arrangement helped to keep my body weight stable and I was quite fit. My health was reported as "excellent" whenever there was a physical/medical examination. I had not been identified with any chronic illness and the last mammogram in 2003 together with other tests covered during a full medical were given the all clear. Except for a surgery to remove some fibroids (benign) in 2000, I was seldom sick and could not remember being on sick leave.
When I stopped working and was living in the kampung in 2005-mid 2006, my lifestyle with respect to exercise changed. We had a maid who took care of the household chores while I was the household chauffeur. My dad would grab the car keys and drove to his favourite spots whenever he felt like it but I took care of the long trips as his eyesight isn't as good as it used to be. I missed my morning walks but made up for it by physical manual labour around the compound. I joined my brother and the maid to spruce up the compound. We have a lot of fruit trees and herbal shrubs that were beginning to look like the Amazon forest, so together with some hired help we "tebas" and "toiled". It was very physical and every evening I would sweat like a horse and the pre-maghrib showers felt so cleansing and I would sleep like a log until morning.
When the house compound was done, we moved to the land that my late Mum had bequeathed to our care. More hired help to "tebas" and "toil" to clean up. It was almost a daily ritual and it was fun ( for me at least as never before had I the opportunity to get my hands dirty like that). I discovered what Bamboo shoots look like before they are processed as food(yum!). We piled chopped up twigs and branches and camped under the gazebo-style pondok that we had built for us to rest in between. I remember trying to burn the pile of bamboo branches ourselves because the Pak Aji who we trusted and paid to do it played us out (*##??€*&%!!#). I was more careful after that about accepting people at "face value". In that instance, due to our (well, mine actually) inexperience, I almost razed the whole plot of land with durian trees to the ground. It was a windy day and the little flame spread like wild fire. I panicked and called the Bomba, who, bless them, turned up in less than 10 minutes. They looked so disappointed when they arrived and I heard one of them reporting to their HQ via mobile "..takde apa apa, buluh aja terbakar...ape, pakai spray aje?"By that time the whole kampung had gathered to find out what was happening.
So I did continue to sweat it out even though not my usual routine. Despite all the exercise and flurry of activities, I noticed that my clothes were getting tight. The scales showed I had put on some weight even though I was not eating more and sweated it out everyday. The weight gain could be due to the onset of menopause. I did not eat any more than I used to although I did o'd on all the lovely kueh-kueh at the weekly Pasar Malam and Pasar Tani. There was serabai and sauce, putu piring, best-in-the-world Masjid Tanah cendol (featured in Traveller's Choice), abuk-abuk, talam ubi kayu, kueh bakar pandan( baulu kemboja), wajik sirat, and tapai . My shopping trolley at the Pasars will always have a few of these kuehs hanging from the hook so they wouldn't get squashed. My dad, brother, the maid and I would go for our weekly morning and evening walks browsing through the Pasar Tani and Pasar Malam stalls for weekly supplies. It was good exercise because I would go a few rounds to get things done while my dad walked around leisurely to socialise because he knows most of the vendors. We would rendezvous at an ice-cream potong stall after about an hour. Sometimes I drove my dad to fishing spots and waited with him while he fished or watch others fish, either at a private pond or public beaches. While he fished I would take a walk along the beach. Hongeh jugak in the hot sun.
My weight stabilised at between 55-56 kg, 5 kg than what I used to weigh just the year before. Could this sudden weight gain have encouraged and coaxed the cancer cells to come out of hiding? As the period also coincided with the onset of my menopause ( which finally happened in August 2006), I experienced sweet cravings. I could have o'd on chocolates and sweet nothings (ie sweet stuff full of nothing, no nutrients other than hazardous calories) during that time. In retrospect it would have been alright to have over-indulged just to satisfy the menopausal sweet urgings had I also compensated by exercising a bit more. But by that time, other than normal day to day green maintenance around the house, there wasn't too much physical work , and I was very , very careful not to get Bomba involved again. (An aside- for those that missed "Menopause, the Musical" at Actors Studio, do go and watch the play coming in August, it is good fun!).
Where I am today since returning to KL in mid 2006, I must admit that just because I am always on the move, doing my own household chores with only a Sunday walk-in maid to scrub the house and keeping the cats organised, I have not been as actively walking or exercising as I did before. I do "social" walking,ie rendezvous with friends at weekends for a walk around my area or TTDI Kiara Hill, or the Lake Gardens, but then we would offset all that with a really bountiful breakfast of nothing less than Masala Thosai with all the trimmings. WhaI would faithfully do is my stretching exercises upon rising everyday and simple yoga postures just to keep the spine and joints supple.
I am sure I can do better. I need to do better. I must do better. Even if I do not have Breast Cancer I was going to sign up at Yogazone. Now that I have Breast Cancer it is imperative that I schedule a fitness regime that will take care of the impact of surgery on my lymphatic system and make sure that I address post-menopausal health issues like keeping osteoporosis at bay and incorporating some cardio exercises for cardiac health ( especially since osteoporosis and cardiac problems showed up in our family).
The physical fitness aspect of our current lifestyle is entirely within our control and we can do something about it. It is never too late to start, but we must start right and make sure we approach it wisely. Again, slow and steady to build up a comfortable pace and routine that can be sustained and not in spurts on the spur of the moment. I am jotting this down as a sweet reminder to myself to take it slow as I can be quite "over" sometimes.
What I hope to do next Insya Allah is to check out the various complementary therapies that can be incorporated into my daily schedule. Activities like walking, stretching and the anti-Lymphedema exercises can be done anytime and I am already practicing those. Group exercises like Tai-Chi, Yoga, Reiki will be nice to do in a group/social setting. A number of the Cancer Support groups are organising this and I would like to find out more on where I can easily join up.
Already just writing this down, my semangat is berkobar-kobar. I don't know how my body will react to the second dose of chemo. If good, I may even want to start during the 3rd week when all the side-effects would have waned. If not, I will have to wait until all the cycles are over. For now, I will continue with my morning walks around my area(please God, no haze during this time...thank you), the morning stretches and arm exercises.
The only other comment I have after this reflection is that my late Mum never went to a gym, did not own a leotard for aerobics or yoga, was not even allowed to cycle,and she was fine. She kept busy mostly with housework and raising us 6 kids. And when she walked it was mainly to round us up to and from the playground to herd us back into the house for our evening shower before mengaji. Her favourite past time include sewing, all kinds of handiwork ( crochet, knitting, tatting ) and reading. All rather sedentary. When she and my dad moved to live in Melaka, they both had included gardening and sort of organic farming as their hobby, at least during the first few years after my dad's retirement. After that it was really just pottering around the house and still looking and pampering us kids whenever we turned up at their doorsteps. Typical of Asian mums, she showered us with her love not really through big bearhugs and kisses but through the labour and toil of preparing our favourite dishes. That activity gave her a glow that I sense missing from a lot of us today.
My favourite past times(not counting travelling) are basically sedentary. Reading (sitting), Writing (lots of sitting), Studying People(more sitting eg in cafes/libraries/functions), Cooking ( movement but limited to triangular space between sink, stove and refrigerator). Should I incorporate gardening after chemo? I have been advised not to yet as there is a risk of getting infected if I graze myself while handling the plants and soil(dirt).
I am keen to cycle as it is also a weight bearing and cardio exercise in one.
We will see.
For now, I am thankful to God that at least in spirit, I still have that determination to do what it takes to get out of this and hope that it stays with me throughout my treatment and beyond. And if maintaining an ideal wieght and keeping active through regular exercise can also help keep cancer at bay, please give me the strength and determination to do so ya Allah and not take things for granted when I regain my health. Amin.
Syukur Alhamdullillah that I was able to see the funny side of things. When my friends came to visit they noticed I was wearing a bandana. We took snapshots at every angle while I still have hair. The first time I took off the scarf, my hair was flat and plastered all over my scalp. It reminded me of a certain minister who wears a toupee! I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. I hope I will be still as ticklish when I shampoo my hair using the mild SebaMed baby shampoo that I bought specially for this treatment period. I am expecting that bunches, probably an acre at a time, will come off. Hopefully no pain as my scalp is beginning to feel slightly tender,as though I had a knock the day before kind of feeling. Not painful but a noticeable feeling.
After writing about eating healthily, dinner last night was Kepala Ikan masak asam pedas, san the chillies. SNA and her son came by for a visit and joined me for dinner. Kakak also stir-fried some Kacang botol which was tres, tres delicious. I am making it a point to have at least 2 types of sayur and we actually had 3 last night, including stir-fried tauge and kerabu pomelo. Dessert was fruit, but after the good dinner we can only managed a banana each.
I am supposed to next reflect on other Lifestyle factors - Physical Fitness, Stress level, Emotional wellbeing, Mental Wellbeing, Spiritual Wellbeing and Social Wellbeing.
I think most of these other factors are somewhat inter-related. Personally I feel that Emotional/Mental/Spiritual/Social wellbeing are tied in to a person's behavioural and personality traits. They move in tandem. So again, I will study these separately and note those observations under Internal Factors ie together with Genes and Infections.
Physical Fitness:(and Hobbies?)
Evaluating my height, weight and frame, I would be of average health. 153 cm, small to medium frame, I am pear-shaped (hereditary lah), and stand at 57 kg before and after the recent surgery. So my chemo is being calculated and administered based on that body weight ( which was my weight during adolescent). I registered 50-53 kg during most of my working life and started piling on the weight after I stopped working. In other words, when I stopped working out at the gym/swimming/squash/aerobics/jazzercise/ daily brisk walking in 2005, I had gained at least 5 kg. That't the weight of an overdue baby. A big, fat baby.
I have always been active and cannot sit still for long. If I do, I would be multi-tasking. I would have the radio or TV on if I am cooking. Or ironing, Or reading. When I read I munch. When I shower, I think and will see what needs to be cleaned and sorted out in the bathroom. I do daily briskwalking every morning without fail for at least 4-5 km before I start work at the office ( I showered in the Recreation Floor of the office). I liked that arrangement because it was nice to start the day right and know that you have done something good for your body as putting it off to the later part of the day may mean that something may come up to change your plan. The arrangement helped to keep my body weight stable and I was quite fit. My health was reported as "excellent" whenever there was a physical/medical examination. I had not been identified with any chronic illness and the last mammogram in 2003 together with other tests covered during a full medical were given the all clear. Except for a surgery to remove some fibroids (benign) in 2000, I was seldom sick and could not remember being on sick leave.
When I stopped working and was living in the kampung in 2005-mid 2006, my lifestyle with respect to exercise changed. We had a maid who took care of the household chores while I was the household chauffeur. My dad would grab the car keys and drove to his favourite spots whenever he felt like it but I took care of the long trips as his eyesight isn't as good as it used to be. I missed my morning walks but made up for it by physical manual labour around the compound. I joined my brother and the maid to spruce up the compound. We have a lot of fruit trees and herbal shrubs that were beginning to look like the Amazon forest, so together with some hired help we "tebas" and "toiled". It was very physical and every evening I would sweat like a horse and the pre-maghrib showers felt so cleansing and I would sleep like a log until morning.
When the house compound was done, we moved to the land that my late Mum had bequeathed to our care. More hired help to "tebas" and "toil" to clean up. It was almost a daily ritual and it was fun ( for me at least as never before had I the opportunity to get my hands dirty like that). I discovered what Bamboo shoots look like before they are processed as food(yum!). We piled chopped up twigs and branches and camped under the gazebo-style pondok that we had built for us to rest in between. I remember trying to burn the pile of bamboo branches ourselves because the Pak Aji who we trusted and paid to do it played us out (*##??€*&%!!#). I was more careful after that about accepting people at "face value". In that instance, due to our (well, mine actually) inexperience, I almost razed the whole plot of land with durian trees to the ground. It was a windy day and the little flame spread like wild fire. I panicked and called the Bomba, who, bless them, turned up in less than 10 minutes. They looked so disappointed when they arrived and I heard one of them reporting to their HQ via mobile "..takde apa apa, buluh aja terbakar...ape, pakai spray aje?"By that time the whole kampung had gathered to find out what was happening.
So I did continue to sweat it out even though not my usual routine. Despite all the exercise and flurry of activities, I noticed that my clothes were getting tight. The scales showed I had put on some weight even though I was not eating more and sweated it out everyday. The weight gain could be due to the onset of menopause. I did not eat any more than I used to although I did o'd on all the lovely kueh-kueh at the weekly Pasar Malam and Pasar Tani. There was serabai and sauce, putu piring, best-in-the-world Masjid Tanah cendol (featured in Traveller's Choice), abuk-abuk, talam ubi kayu, kueh bakar pandan( baulu kemboja), wajik sirat, and tapai . My shopping trolley at the Pasars will always have a few of these kuehs hanging from the hook so they wouldn't get squashed. My dad, brother, the maid and I would go for our weekly morning and evening walks browsing through the Pasar Tani and Pasar Malam stalls for weekly supplies. It was good exercise because I would go a few rounds to get things done while my dad walked around leisurely to socialise because he knows most of the vendors. We would rendezvous at an ice-cream potong stall after about an hour. Sometimes I drove my dad to fishing spots and waited with him while he fished or watch others fish, either at a private pond or public beaches. While he fished I would take a walk along the beach. Hongeh jugak in the hot sun.
My weight stabilised at between 55-56 kg, 5 kg than what I used to weigh just the year before. Could this sudden weight gain have encouraged and coaxed the cancer cells to come out of hiding? As the period also coincided with the onset of my menopause ( which finally happened in August 2006), I experienced sweet cravings. I could have o'd on chocolates and sweet nothings (ie sweet stuff full of nothing, no nutrients other than hazardous calories) during that time. In retrospect it would have been alright to have over-indulged just to satisfy the menopausal sweet urgings had I also compensated by exercising a bit more. But by that time, other than normal day to day green maintenance around the house, there wasn't too much physical work , and I was very , very careful not to get Bomba involved again. (An aside- for those that missed "Menopause, the Musical" at Actors Studio, do go and watch the play coming in August, it is good fun!).
Where I am today since returning to KL in mid 2006, I must admit that just because I am always on the move, doing my own household chores with only a Sunday walk-in maid to scrub the house and keeping the cats organised, I have not been as actively walking or exercising as I did before. I do "social" walking,ie rendezvous with friends at weekends for a walk around my area or TTDI Kiara Hill, or the Lake Gardens, but then we would offset all that with a really bountiful breakfast of nothing less than Masala Thosai with all the trimmings. WhaI would faithfully do is my stretching exercises upon rising everyday and simple yoga postures just to keep the spine and joints supple.
I am sure I can do better. I need to do better. I must do better. Even if I do not have Breast Cancer I was going to sign up at Yogazone. Now that I have Breast Cancer it is imperative that I schedule a fitness regime that will take care of the impact of surgery on my lymphatic system and make sure that I address post-menopausal health issues like keeping osteoporosis at bay and incorporating some cardio exercises for cardiac health ( especially since osteoporosis and cardiac problems showed up in our family).
The physical fitness aspect of our current lifestyle is entirely within our control and we can do something about it. It is never too late to start, but we must start right and make sure we approach it wisely. Again, slow and steady to build up a comfortable pace and routine that can be sustained and not in spurts on the spur of the moment. I am jotting this down as a sweet reminder to myself to take it slow as I can be quite "over" sometimes.
What I hope to do next Insya Allah is to check out the various complementary therapies that can be incorporated into my daily schedule. Activities like walking, stretching and the anti-Lymphedema exercises can be done anytime and I am already practicing those. Group exercises like Tai-Chi, Yoga, Reiki will be nice to do in a group/social setting. A number of the Cancer Support groups are organising this and I would like to find out more on where I can easily join up.
Already just writing this down, my semangat is berkobar-kobar. I don't know how my body will react to the second dose of chemo. If good, I may even want to start during the 3rd week when all the side-effects would have waned. If not, I will have to wait until all the cycles are over. For now, I will continue with my morning walks around my area(please God, no haze during this time...thank you), the morning stretches and arm exercises.
The only other comment I have after this reflection is that my late Mum never went to a gym, did not own a leotard for aerobics or yoga, was not even allowed to cycle,and she was fine. She kept busy mostly with housework and raising us 6 kids. And when she walked it was mainly to round us up to and from the playground to herd us back into the house for our evening shower before mengaji. Her favourite past time include sewing, all kinds of handiwork ( crochet, knitting, tatting ) and reading. All rather sedentary. When she and my dad moved to live in Melaka, they both had included gardening and sort of organic farming as their hobby, at least during the first few years after my dad's retirement. After that it was really just pottering around the house and still looking and pampering us kids whenever we turned up at their doorsteps. Typical of Asian mums, she showered us with her love not really through big bearhugs and kisses but through the labour and toil of preparing our favourite dishes. That activity gave her a glow that I sense missing from a lot of us today.
My favourite past times(not counting travelling) are basically sedentary. Reading (sitting), Writing (lots of sitting), Studying People(more sitting eg in cafes/libraries/functions), Cooking ( movement but limited to triangular space between sink, stove and refrigerator). Should I incorporate gardening after chemo? I have been advised not to yet as there is a risk of getting infected if I graze myself while handling the plants and soil(dirt).
I am keen to cycle as it is also a weight bearing and cardio exercise in one.
We will see.
For now, I am thankful to God that at least in spirit, I still have that determination to do what it takes to get out of this and hope that it stays with me throughout my treatment and beyond. And if maintaining an ideal wieght and keeping active through regular exercise can also help keep cancer at bay, please give me the strength and determination to do so ya Allah and not take things for granted when I regain my health. Amin.
2 comments:
My dear Azmi, did you give me your card when we met? I don't think so... or I probably would have zapped you an email by now. I was delighted to discover your blog through bibliobibuli - and I vividly recalled our "chance" encounter at MPH (the odds of meeting me in Bangsar Village are about 10,000,000 to 1!) Apart from what I already said to you, I can only indicate the depth of feeling you aroused in me. Such an exquisite and refined person is rare indeed and priceless. I'm happy to establish virtual contact with you, and now we can meet in cyberspace and you may call on me anytime via email or phone. A very urbane fella named S.T. Ang bought Tanah Tujuh and emailed me with this link: he wanted to tell me about the marvellous properties of mangosteen juice (I have no problem with that) but I later learnt that he runs a network of Xango distributors (a lucrative direct sales scheme - not something I'm drawn to, but I am learning to be tolerant of entrepreneurial types, on the premise that even art has to be marketed and distributed, or those of us who enjoy making art will forever starve! :-) You have my email, right? I'm prompted to send you a very long and loving hug.
Dear Antares, thank you for visiting my blog! I had mentioned the chance encounter in one of my posts and I am still profoundly astounded by your interpretation of 'disease'= "dis-ease"!Much better than the Advanced OED!I will check out the link and see what it is all about. Rgds,
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