So what causes Breast cancer?

Tiger: "Don't disturb lah, I am having a catnap".
(Tiger is M.I.A since Feb 2007)


April 21 ( day 11 post-first chemo)

I was late for my 2nd shot of Granocyte as I had to get to the Maxis center to sort out my SIM card after losing my faithful mobile phone. I managed to get the same phone number, so that is good. I can count on populating my directory again and try to recover the hundreds of contact numbers that were only captured in my lost mobile. All the friends and acquaintances I made were in the phone memory. What heartless soul can keep mum about finding a phone so loaded with data and favourite snaps? If the person wanted to, he can send me an email as that info would be there. To think that the crowd milling about in BV1&2 are not the type to get excited over a mobile phone that had seen better days,or should I say better years. Even the protective cover had yellowed with age. Well, no one to blame but myself. I must remember to check in future before even starting the engine of my car when departing from any place.

I promised myself that I will spend the coming week to analyse and try to pinpoint possible causes of my cancer. I have read a lot about possible cures, treatment and management of the disease, post-treatment. However, as cancer is such an "individual" disease that affects many and standard treatments affect individuals differently based on their physiological and psychological make-up in facing the disease, no one really knows what causes cancer. Only what happens when cancer has struck, when a tumour will grow and cells multiply very fast to create damage.

A lot of research is being carried out to improve on existing cures. I don't know if as much research is being carried out to find out about the causes of cancer. I can imagine that scientists may have to work at length with surviving cancer patients to explore variables in order to find some commonalities that could contribute to the cause. This is not something that they could use laboratory mice for. I gathered that apart from being a physical disease of lumps and bumps, cancer may have deep physiological roots. You can have 2 persons with almost the same lifestyle but one may have cancer and the other does not or perhaps have another chronic lifestyle disease.

Finding and improving the cure for cancer is a noble effort, no doubt about that. A lot of funds are being allocated to cancer research. A number of drug and pharmaceutical companies as well are enthusiastically engaged in this as cancer cure is big business. So, with all their humanitarian and business interests in mind, I am just wonderng if any organisation is also being funded and spending money to research the cause(s) of cancer. Will eventual discoveries of the cause affect the business of curing people?

Surely not. I have not heard of tobacco or cigarette companies going bust just because smoking has been identified as a major contributor to Lung Cancer. People are still smoking, and Lung Cancer sufferers know what they are going into when they open that inviting pack of cigarettes. At least that finding has given smokers an informed choice each time they light up. And they know that if they are unlucky, smoking combined with other lifestyle factors may reduce their dreams to ashes.

So what could cause Breast Cancer(BC)? Just by being female puts you at risk, although 1% of BC sufferers are men. Early menses and late menopause and therefore higher exposure to estrogen is another risk factor. Not breastfeeding or not experiencing motherhood through conception and childbirth are more risk factors. But I have met many, many cancer survivors who started their menses late , who breast feed and have lots of children, and start their menopause relatively early who have got the disease. So...?

And their personalities are as varied as their backgrounds and proffesions. Some come across as very gentle and accomodating, there are others who come across as assertive and in control of their lives, some are very serious while some take life in a very laid back manner. Surely there is a common thread somewhere? I am interested in the Malaysian context here as it helps to narrow the focus. Every now and then I can't help comparing myself to the people and friends I know who had to deal with the dreaded disease, to identify if we have anything in common, apart from being female and Malaysian. I want to play a small part in this quest of finding the cause, so that we can better prevent the disease from hitting others . If there is such a thing as a clinical trial or a control group to help in the investigation and research on the probable causes of cancer, I would be more than a willing participant.

I had a memorable encounter recently. I bumped into Antares( I enjoy his book Tanah Tujuh) at the Kuala Lumpur International Literary Fest recently. He is an accomplished writer, journalist and musician. I was at MPH BV2, one of the early birds to get Tash Aw to inscribe a few of his books that I was going to give away as birthday/other gifts to my friends (most of my close friends don't read, no time lah, fall asleep lah, print too small lah, mahal lah, and other creative reasons) and Antares was there.

I recognised him from the program but missed his event plus quite a bit of the other events as it was during that time that I had to zip all over town for all kinds of tests and second opinions, not to mention to check out "rapport" with highly recommended and highly regarded clinical and medical oncologists who I would possibly decide on to oversee my chemo, and the state and accessibility of their chemo facilities. For some reason, he came over to me and asked me how I am. During those hectic and confusing days of preparing for the treatment, my way of dealing with my fear was not to hide anything and will happily mention my upcoming treatment, if only to get an assurance that the person knows someone who went through it and that they are still alive.

Writers sometime come across as weird ( as in not normal like other normal people) and what he did next was quite weird, for lack of a better word. He stepped back and stretched his right arm, palm flexed and said that he is transferring some "energy" to me and aimed towards the direction of my left chest. I thought this must be a Temuan remedy. He chided me for treating the disease as an enemy that I must fight. I should befriend it, find harmony with it as it is trying to tell me something. We all should be at ease with ourselves and our environment, he said, and when we are not well and "dis-eased" it is because our body is trying to tell us something, that we have been going against what our natural self should be. He said by looking at me he sees a very soft, feminine person trying very hard to be tough and masculine, and because of that I have upset the balance and harmony in my body. Live your life the way that YOU want to live it, he says, not according to how others think that you should. I was quite overwhelmed by his delivery that for a moment I was speechless.

Then I told him that it is a bit too late to befriend the disease, as I have made up my mind to fight it as a sworn enemy. And I want to win, and I want to remain positive the whole time I am engaged in this war, seeking God's blessing along the way. He saw the determination in me and wished me all the best, and his parting shot was that he is sure I will make it. For him, he does not believe that death is the end of everything, only the end of living in this very physical and material world and that we will exist at a different level in another world. Very much like what my religion teaches me.

I pondered over that encounter every now and then and felt that he might have a point somewhere. I forgot to ask him if anyone in the Temuan community has breast cancer, living as they do in a natural environment, no stress, no pollution, no toxicities in any shape or form. My reading diet has changed significantly over the last couple of months since the day when the idea of Breast Cancer was implanted in my mind. I have stacks of good reads waiting to be devoured, and a small stack of books piled on my nightstand waiting for the endings and mysteries to be resolved. I have casted them aside in "favour" of books on cancer but no where can I find answers to what could cause cancer. Only intelligent guesses.

Since I have a vested interest on the subject, I might as well embark on it using me as the subject to focus on. Who knows, others might be able to relate to my personal findings.