Up, Up and then Down, Flat Down!

May 26 (Day 3 of cycle 3)

I know I am not perfect. Although it is comforting to know that no one is perfect, I can't help feeling let down when I couldn't accomplish what I had set out to do today, not all that is.


There was a list of things to be done but some can wait for next week. I reserved today's time and energy for activities that can't wait - like joining the MPH Breakfast Club meet at BV2, The Readings session at Seksan Bangsar, and after Maghrib, Pak Long & Mak Long's extended family dinner in Damansara Heights as a send off for his son-in-law who will be assigned to Dubai by Schlumberger. I mustered enough strength despite the static nausea (not rumbling, thank God) and told myself, these will be my activities for today.


I got up as normal, bowel movement was okay (must be the syrup) and I had so much energy I decided to run the wash and hung up the pieces on the line. Nothing like sun-dried clothes vs the machine dried ones. I had 2 2-minute boiled eggs with wholemeal toast and 1/2mug of ovaltine, and RJ came to pick me up to go to the MPH meet.


We were lucky that although we were late, we managed to catch Lee Su Kim who was the first guest author, talking about her books and her experience in getting published. It is a small world, her late husband and I were working for the same multinational company. Her latest book "A Nyonya In Texas" is fun and that must have been compiled while she accompanied him on his Houston assignment. She is an English Lecturer and has written a few books prior to this one. The second guest author is David Byck, a yankee married to a Malaysian and who feels Malaysian. His book "It is a LONG WAY to the Floor" is about personal change and he had accomplished this through his involvement in yoga and how the practice influenced his mental, physical and spiritual strength. Exactly what I needed right now. I enjoyed the sessions tremendously and after the talks, we mingled and helped ourselves to a generous spread of snacks and coffee/tea. Bumped into familiar faces-Chet, Yolande and Eric, who were at the only session I had been to prior to this.


RJ was quite worried for me and suggested that she sent me home after lunch at BV1, but I felt that since I am already out and about and no sign of fatigue other than a slight nausea, I reassured her that it was still fine to hop on to the next event, the Readings at Seksan. So there we were at this Studio-Bungalow, creatively structured with a back-to-nature feel right smack in the middle of Bangsar. There was even a "jaga" bed, that just in case the unthinkable happened and I had to lie down, we did not have to improvise at all! To be honest, by that time, the fatigue and nausea were making their presence felt, but I kept sucking on preserved ginger to settle the queasy feelings. It helped some.


If I was at home, I would probably be lying down and listening to some chill-out music. I would not have been able to read much or write as the printed words would give me a headache. So it was just perfect that I could lean back, closed my eyes and listened to the 6 guest readers for the day . Balan Moses read a few chapters from his Brickfield's memoir and it made me crave for Mee Goreng Mamak! Fay, Nora Adam, Nicholas Wong, Bernice Chauly and Wong Phui Nam were so inspiring with their creations that one can't help feeling so proud to be among so much talent that day. I can only hope that these sessions would continue thanks to the dedicated effort of Bernice Chauly and Sharon Bakar, who are fond names among the literary crowd in KL. I finished a whole bag of preserved ginger during the session and managed not to create a scene which would not have been on the agenda!


By the time RJ dropped me home, I realised I was quite pooped. After a quick shower, I fed Blackie the neighbourhood stray who adopted me, as he was already waiting for his feed by my porch. The sudden slow down in activities actually slowed me down and suddenly the fatigue just set in. I realised then that there is no way I could be in a social setting of 100 without drawing undue attention to myself should I feel sick or turn pale.


So despite much planning, and what I thought was energy conservation for the day , I was only able to accomplish 2 out of my 3 planned activities. I heeded what my doctor said, it's all in the mind, go ahead and do whatever you feel like doing while your energy lasts and forget the "what ifs". If the "what ifs" happen, then deal with it. So I had to make the unfortunate decision not to be at Pak Long's send-off dinner and I know they understood. As it turned out the family dispersed by about 2 am (!!!) and SM will send over some roti jala and beriani to today.


Well, 2 out of 3 wasn't too bad, compared to being flat out for almost 10 days during the last cycle. And hopefully this time, my car will not wander on it's own after I switch off the ignition and engage the handbrake!





Ashley the Cat says: "Tch, tch , tch Mama Mi......I know you are getting bigger but you are not The Incredible Hulk, you know....take it easy. Now if I had eavesdropped properly, I heard you are planning to go to Ikea to buy a bed for the spare room as your new maid is arriving....are you sure you are ready to go shopping in a crowd???? Huh? Just do one activity a day during your first week, and be a good girl and catch up on all these books that have been piling in the shelves...Remember you want to be fit for June 2's Relay For Life at Bukit Jalil, don't you. You want to be there to meet all the brave cancer survivors and their care-givers and volunteers. So take it easy, Mama Mi.........mwah...