Almost normal

May 9 (Day 7 of Cycle 2)


Syukur Alhamdullillah despite a slight temperature (still monitoring) I am feeling a whole lot better than I did during the last few days. Good...a lot of things to catch up on after the hazy, lazy days when all I did was feelng miserable on the sofa with a book I couldn't read.



I now have the energy to start sorting out this crazy , whopper of a bill from Syabas. Not enough energy to drive up to their office,though so I opted instead to have a telephone discussion with their billing side. It was a fruitful one. Ever since I was struck with BC, I had become less impatient and more tolerant and so it was a good discussion after a few rounds and twists. I must have faith that it will be sorted out before I complete all my adjuvant treatments. And that means I am allowing 6 months, should be a fair estimate for an issue that has started since PUAS days and now creeping up and haunting the guys in SYABAS ( more than 3 years!). Now....could this have resulted in enough stress to cause......????? Shudder.....

Troy says:"Now, now Mama Mi.....have faith in the system. If you have been patient for 3 years, what's another few months.... Now that you are a BC patient, you really need to be patient! No stress, absolutely no stress!"

Thankfully, things were almost back to normal....I was able to eat well (beef broth and spinach soup). I even spent some time socialising with my neighbours when they popped by the front gate since they spied some movements in the house. They had their first look at my new "hairdo" as I normally would put a headgear on whenever I leave my front door. I felt much more at ease and even ventured into the kitchen to boil some barley and red dates, recommended by my friend PSJune.








My friend UZUN joined me for dinner after maghrib prayers. She brought more dates (good for blood) and raisins. Kakak prepared Ikan Merah masak lemak with cili, peria and tomatoes, sup bayam and dried chicken curry. I ate heartily to make up for the lack of appetite over the last couple of days. We caught up on the latest gossips in town and I shared with her the latest update on my fellow chemo buddies, who are all doing very well instead. She shared with me abot her house being overtaken by bugs and creepy crawlies and have been throwing away cups, glasses and spoons just because she spied a baby lizard or cockroach crossing them! She needed the Rentokill people in quickly before she runs out of kitchenware!





I am planning to see my Breast Surgeon tomorrow to check if the nagging twitching in my left breast continues. I had forgotten all about it during the bouts of nausea but the twitchings are beginning to be obvious again. I hope it is not paranoia, but this time I have decided not to be a hero(ine) and do not plan to tolerate unexplained aches and pains. You never know what your body is trying to tell you. Hopefully it is nothing and that it is part of the healing process of the scar tissue underneath.






I also need to seek her advice on my axillary excision scar. It is healing well but there is a small little knob at one end and I hope to get an assurance it is nothing but just scar tissue. Then there is the question of the possibility of lymphedema. Nauzubillah. Maybe it is my imagination but I think my left arm is slightly fatter than my right. I tried measuring them. I hope it is not my lymphatic fluid building up due to recent inactivity. After all, I had 21 lymph nodes removed and that must be causing havoc to the lymphatic drainage within my left torso/chest. Kakak must think I am beginning to get paranoid. She probably thought I am much more pleasant to be around when I am zonked out with fatigue and nausea so that she can watch television in peace. Even Blackie is scrambling to get out of my way now that I have started moving about in my usual style ie no more like a pengantin but more like Hurricane Sue.





Sometimes I wish I had trained to be a doctor instead of a bean counter especially since I am trying to understand and explain to myself this lengthy healing process.....but Allah knows that I will likely not be a good doctor as I might get carried away with the paranoia of my patients...