Same old, same old but it's Father's Day month!

June 8 (Day 16 of cycle 3)

My dad and one of the care-givers posing for a picture on the balcony that opened out from his room at the Nursing home he is staying in Bt Baru, Melaka. Very nice and airy, and opposite this house is a palatial mansion(with a huge duomo-like dome still under construction over 2 bungalow lots, and it was whispered that it belonged to a certain MP......and that construction has halted).

Maybe my dad is tired of looking at the palatial "eyesore" day-in and day-out? In the foreground is my cousin, who popped by quite often although he partially lives in Singapore and partially in Melaka. He and his wife have to drive to Singapore every month for medical check-ups with their doctors there as both are heart patients...

June 8 (Day 16 of cycle 3)

I am so grateful that no new side-effects have shown up so by now I am sort of getting used to the "usual" pains and side effects of late. I have also tried to incorporate certain actions to help ease and manage the side effects:

Mouth ulcers-continue salt water gargle after cleaning teeth, throughout the day. Apply glycerine borax at night. Will call Dr Priya my dentist if I could use the oral paste she provided in case I get gum infection to the ulcers at the end of my tongue or tonsils. Will definitely see her on Monday if the sores do not disappear by then. Eating which should be a pleasure after day 10 is now a painful process as swallowing involves the food passing across the ulcers and the pain is tear-inducing and bottom clenching. I am thankful though the ulcers are on one side of the mouth, so at least I can chew on the right side very very carefully so that the food will not migrate to the painful left side.

Sore bottom - must let my Onco know on Monday (when he will be in his clinic) on what I can do to relieve the discomfort. Read about a couple of pain relief creams that I could apply but will need his clearance in case the chemicals in it will react adversely with what my body is carrying. Will also start taking psyllium husk to cleanse my insides. The stuff doesn't look appetitising at all as it is just bulk to help with bowel movement and scrapping your insides so your digestive system is detoxified after a period of sluggish bowel.

Thrombophlebitis(tightness and stiff pain in veins of right arm)-continue to apply the hydorcortisone cream 3X a day and at night before sleep, apply minyak gamat. I go to bed smelling like a curry dish as other than gamat, the composition of this particular brand has coriander, ginger and turmeric ! The I use a "tuam", a sort of a hot compress by heating up a small cloth bag filled with lavender scented sand and drape the bag over my forearem. If nothing else, the gently scent of the lavender won over the curry aroma of gamat! Helps me to sleep soundly. Have not noticed any difference to the pain and stiffness but thankfully the pain hasn't grown worse.

Numb left arm -continue with anti-lymphedema exercise for surgery-side arm. And will now incorporate daily BRISK walk around area for 30 minutes instead of the gentle stroll I have been doing to get the newspaper. Continue with light yoga stretches daily. I am debating whether I should start a gym routine but decided against it until I am done with all the chemo cycles as I know I will not keep up especially when I am in my 1st week post-chemo.

Gastric spasms and pain-continue with the Nexium daily until I run out and take Gaviston during the day when the spasms strike. Thank God the spasms are not as intense and acute as before but they do strike a few times a day and at least twice during the night but I have a flask of warm horlicks at my bedsite, so that is manageable.

Other than that , I am in perfect condition. My energy is back and with the helper around we explore what I have hidden in boxes, shelves, nooks and corners. We found strange things-really strange things tucked away in storage shelves and I will definitely investigate what those things are and how they got to the places we found them. Some look really scary like black sand all over the luggage shelf of my wardrobe. How come I never notice them before?

The helper is coping quite well. I wonder how she will manage if she has to look after me and my dad, should he agree to stay here in KL with me. I had earlier asked her if she has taken care of her grandparents as her own parents are still very young, younger than I. She said no. Her grandparents are younger than my dad. I wrote a long letter to my dad, to explain why he needn't worry about me in KL as I have very good care-givers and support system here and that Insya Allah by September my treatments will be completed and I should be back to normal.

My younger sis-in-law made a trip to Melaka to visit him yesterday with my nephews and reassured my dad that I am managing well on my own. It seems he has been flinging about his meals and scaring the staff because they wouldn't let him leave to get a taxi. That's my dad, if he cannot get his way, he will throw tantrums but the best part is, I think he would forget about it later. My s-i-l reassured him that I have help around the house and that I am not alone. He was worried that I might be on my own and if anything happened or I died, no one will know about it to help.

I hope my letter will set his mind at ease. I explained why I needed to do the treatment and how I am managing with my friends' help. I told him my mind will be more at ease if he remains where he is, since none of my other siblings are in a position to offer their place to him. At least until all the chemos and radiation treatment are completed he should be under the supervision of the proffessionals at the private care center. We will see if I can convince myself to stay in Melaka again after all that has happened that made me move back to KL last year.

I plan to send copies of my letter to my siblings who have consciously or unconsciously chosen not to be involved with the dramas relating to my dad. It is after all, Father's Day month, and sometimes, no matter how busy one is with one's own family, it is probably good to be reminded that our father is still around and waiting..., waiting for some attention from his children who are all doing relatively well...maybe just getting old and infirm themselves. Alas...